With Love, Mom.
So my mom sent me a care package today filled with mac and cheese, betty crocker’s warm delights, animal crackers, chocolate covered pretzels, tums (accordingly), a magazine, a hat, and condoms.
Condoms? How do I react to that?
“Thanks for the condoms, Mom! I really needed them. I’m glad you sent them with rush shipping.”
You know what the best part is? She found them in my drawer and sent them because of “all the disgusting diseases out there.” I’m glad she’s concerned for me, I really am. But I wouldn’t have minded if she just pretended she’d never seen them. I don’t think sex will ever go on my list of “okay things to talk about with my mother.”
I love my mom. I know I’m technically an adult, but I feel as if I should always be a little kid in her eyes. After all, I never want her to stop sending me mac and cheese and animal crackers. Next time I’ll pass on the condoms.
