July 2011
46 posts
Why is it that everything I do causes my dad to guilt trip me? Even for things I shouldn’t feel guilty about I end up apologizing for. I decided to go to the gym after dinner instead of before and he seemed so agitated that I actually apologized.
It makes me feel guilty that I changed his dinner plans even though nothing changed for him at all. Then it makes me feel guilty for wanting to be at my mom’s instead. Then, when I’m there, it makes me feel guilty for not spending enough time with him. I always hoped I could have a normal parent-child relationship. Guess I’ll never know what that’s like. I wonder what it would’ve been like if they’d never broken up, or if I had a sibling to diffuse the pressure.
Some days I just want to leave. Others I realize that I’m the only thing he has, and then I know I can’t. I even feel guilty for trying to stay in his life, because some days I’m afraid it’s only out of pity.
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